I originally designed this website/blog as a showcase for my crocheted and crafted goods. However, even from the beginning, I knew that wasn’t exactly what I wanted. I want to create a space where I can share with others my journey from buying into the consumerism-hype, not caring about the loss of quality in our society, not caring about the damaging products I put on my body and into our world, simply doing what I do because that’s what I was told to do, to where I am at present – which is perhaps just as complicated. The mindset I had 10 years ago is vastly different than how I think now; and by different I mean I actually think now.
I think about my words and actions and how they affect others’ words and actions. I think about how connected we actually all are. I think about my desire to treat others with kindness and compassion, which then leads to my thoughts of how horribly I have treated people in the past. I have remorse. I realize that my past is nothing to regret, but something to learn from as I move forward in my life. I think about the injustices we must suffer. How can I change this? How can I motivate people to care about suffering, the loss of human rights, poverty, fraud, greed… does it even matter? Should I even try?
I desire simplicity. All I want is to be with the people I love, to eat food the land produces naturally, to respect all life, to work with my hands. I think that’s a pretty simple list. Yet, it isn’t as easy as that, as most of us know. I have responsibilities – namely, school loans and the desire to support my parents when they reach an age where they cannot support themselves. And these things require money. Money that I do not want. My desires and my perceived responsibilities are constantly at odds with each other. How do I find a balance? How do I live in a society that places importance on things I do not care about?
I don’t have answers, but I have things that help me through these inconsistencies. I find people who think similarly – it helps to be around those with the same sentiments. I daydream… a lot. I crochet. I craft. I make things. I hike. I pick wild veggies. I find the joy and amusement in irritating things (maybe not right at the moment of irritation, but I usually do later). I laugh. I play with my cat.
I also try to do things that reduce my dependence on living the way we are accustomed to live, such as not purchasing items for health, beauty, and hygiene; not using hot water all the time; not going to the grocery store; not driving everywhere; etc. Some of the steps I have taken to achieve independence is harder than just not going to the grocery store. A lot of it has been questioning why I do these things. It has been consciously and actively redefining what is important to me. This takes much thought and honesty, which I believe the majority of my countrymen are not particularly apt at doing.
So, this means… what? I don’t know. I’m not sure how this will translate on this website. I will still write about crocheting and crafting (and try to get you to buy my items!), but I think the blog will encompass all the things I do to maintain my handmade life.